There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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