physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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