What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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