Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
