but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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