the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
