If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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