If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
