Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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