508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
