Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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