You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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