Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
