there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
