I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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