She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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