oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's Friday. Sex?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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