Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
