White coat. Heels.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize