I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
