idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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