Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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