Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize