Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
