Betty ford says i'm here all night
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
