this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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