I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
