Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
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Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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