There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
