Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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