I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
