hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
