just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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