I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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