she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
