just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
