Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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