She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
