...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
