No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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