No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
