so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
