The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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