I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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