I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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