im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
