It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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