batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
