he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize