WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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