is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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