I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
