This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
