the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
