Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
