the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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