i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
