If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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