Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize