Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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