Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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