She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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