I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
