she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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