Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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